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Fifth year anniversary

6/13/2018

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I'd like to thank everyone who reached out to our family and me via texts, phone calls, and social media yesterday.  "The day" as one of my friends, who also lost a child, calls it, does not get easier with time.  I spent yesterday alone, by choice.  It started with a beautiful group text started by Ary, including our nuclear family and a couple of close friends who while not related to us are indeed family.  We were all hurting and it was nice to share the hurt with good memories and humor.  I'm not a talker, except when I drink Vodka, so I enjoyed my aloneness.  The trick was to distract myself for as long as possible so I didn't focus on the phone call.  While weeding, I reflected on the past weekend.  

Lisa and I rode up to Woodward, PA to meet Sara and RP for AltRider's "Conserve the Ride" event.  It was a dual sport/ADV bike ride through and around Bald Eagle State Forest.  Beautiful 110 mile scenic ride on mostly gravel roads with 10 options, that added more mileage.  The options got progressively harder, except for option 10 which was more scenic.  You could choose to stop doing options anytime you felt like it.  The course was well marked for the most part.  There was one point where it strayed from the GPS tracks because a bridge was out.  And that's where we lost 9R and Ed.  Sara was shooting from the sidecar, while RP was piloting a new gear up URAL.  They had to rescue me on option 1.  My skid plate hit a big rock ; I was going too slow, over I went.  Lesson learned on that one, I picked up my speed on the next  options.  My Black Dog skid plate got it's first real work out on these rock options and came through with flying colors.  I learned a lot and am happy to report, I only dropped Stormy on that first option.  I actually got into the sounds of the rocks hitting my plate - felt like a BadAss.  
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We finally met back up with 9R at the lunch stop.  She was not happy.  Ed had crashed his Africa Twin and was done.  She'd been waiting for us for two hours.  Lunch was catered and was excellent.  A half an hr. later the four of us were on the road together again. Mid 70's and sunshine - WHOO HOO!!!! This is why we came -  to hang out together.  A great, fun day.  After a while, Sara and RP found a beautiful place to do some filming; They were here to review the Ural.  9R and I took off and proceeded to get lost.  A lot.  We just can't help ourselves -- hahahaha.  Had a GPS, maps, arrows, and still we miss turns.  We ended up going right past camp, so we pulled in to go to the bathroom and regroup.  Finally got back on track and had a blast -- we stopped doing options after four.  Out of shape and knowing my limits, I did not want to hurt myself  - we leave on August 9th to ride in Africa.  Actually, we did do option 10 --- fun.  At one stop, Lisa leans over and says, I want to do this everyday.  She was having a blast on Shadow.  
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She was rocking those gravel roads for sure.  I stayed way behind so I didn't eat dust.  Wink, wink.  No way I was going to keep up with her.  No way I was going to try.  We both had a blast riding our ride.
Stopped in town to get some beer and ice to take back to camp.  Walked into the bar and they had two big screen TV's showing flat track.  You can imagine the scene that resulted.  Instant bar friends.

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One of the highlights of the day was captured by Sara.  It's the cover photo above.  I was at the bottom of an option and was waiting for them.  A black butterfly with turquoise and coral coloring on its inner wings landed on my gloves and just sat there.  My phone and thus my camera was dead.  As the Ural pulled up behind me, the butterfly just sat there.  As Sara walked towards my bike to take a photo, the butterfly flew up and low all around Stormy, almost outlining her, and then landed back on my glove and just sat there, posing.  Tommy was reminding me, he was with me. 

After my reflections and weeding, I started out reading and ended up in bed with my covers pulled over my head.  I missed my boy and I cried.  I wondered what Roy was doing today.  If he even remembered the date, I was sure he did.  The son, one of three, that he was visiting when he hit Tommy, was married now.  Wonder if Tommy would have gotten married.  He would be 30 next month.  I wanted to call Roy but just couldn't bring myself to do it.  My big girl pants were in the wash.  Got myself out of bed, played with the dogs, made a fire, not for the radiant heat but for the emotional warmth, and watched Stephan Colbert - we record his late night shows.  Actually, Todd does.  I was grateful.

A friend of mine posted this on my FB page  - I just love these words together.
"Glad you can share some of Tommy's life with your rides and adventures, reaching back and moving forward at the same time - 
A fitting tribute on this 5th anniversary that carved a different path for your tender Mother's heart - God's peace"     Lisa Loper

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