I do not think I would have been able to ride across the country by myself this year. I am tired, emotionally and physically. Tommy's death hit me hard this year. I have been going non stop since my step father was diagnosed with Leukemia in November. He died in January and we had his service and burial here on the farm in May. It has been hard on Mom and as a result hard on me. It is a tough balancing act -- the transition from independence to needing and asking for help. Mom and I are finding our way. As I thought about my trip - I will be gone for a total of 6 weeks -- I've dealt with the guilt of leaving, the apparent selfishness. However, I have realized that I must do these trips, adventures if you will. Simply, they give me a reason to get out of bed in the morning. The planning for them is what gets me out of bed and keeps me going. When I am on them, I am renewed, I recharge. I am grateful for my life and all its gifts, including the pain. I am grateful for a husband and a family that understands and supports the person that I am. I am grateful for my place, even if I'm not always sure what that place is.
So God willing --- Going to have an awesome summer vacation -- stay tuned!