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Halfway

7/11/2015

26 Comments

 
Picture
"I was halfway across America, at the dividing line between the East of my youth and the West of my future."  
Jack Kerouac On The Road.
Yesterday, Stormy and I traveled in sunshine.  Mostly 412W, called the "Cherokee Turnpike " here, into Tulsa where I picked up Rt. 66.  My favorite stops on the way were the Seaba Station Motorcycle Museum in Warwick and the Round Barn in Arcadia.  The motorcycle museum was just plain fun ---- everywhere I looked there was something to look at.  Not in an overwhelming way, like when I walk into a Wegman's or a Walmart superstore.  It was peaceful, quiet and just there.  Met 2 riders on Harleys, we chatted about our sons and at what age that switch clicks on when they "get it" and stop making stupid choices.  
Lisa 9R, I could hear your voice in my head as I walked around the museum-- Suzuki RM 125 in one spot -- walked a couple of steps --- Gary Nixon leathers.... photos below.

The real reason I came to Oklahoma City was to meet a man.  I had talked with him on the phone a couple of times, but needed to see him, to let him know in person that I am not angry at him. That I forgive him.  I know that he did not go out on June 12th with the intention of killing my son.  It was a tragic, tragic accident.  One that has forever changed many, many lives.
He met me at Soda Pops, another iconic Rt.66 stop.  I had been apprehensive about finally meeting him.  Would pent up anger that I thought wasn't there anymore bubble to the surface, would I just want to go pound him a couple of times with my fists?  None of those things happened.  We started with a handshake and pulled into a light hug. Admired each others motorcycles, he had painted a memorial to Tommy on the fender of his white Harley, and went into soda pops for a cup of coffee.
He led me into town, even giving me quarters for the ridiculous toll system here.  You have to have change --- no other way.  What motorcyclist carries loose change in an easy to get to spot?  He had booked and paid for a room at a Hampton.  He left me to get settled why he went home to get his truck.  Took me out for BBQ and suggested I try the fried Okra.  It was incredible.  We learned more about each other, our families, talked of the draft, Vietnam, guns in schools, depression.  He had offered to take me where ever I wanted to go.  I originally thought I wanted to go into Oklahoma City and see the Memorial, but I was tired, mostly emotionally.  So he took me on a quick scenic tour to see a restored barn on a HUGE beautiful cattle ranch, picture Sagamore Farm, for cattle.  Coolest turn out sheds I have ever seen.  We hugged goodbye outside my hotel.  He is a disabled veteran of Vietnam, a father of 3 sons, a husband and a gentleman.  He was, still is and will always be devastated by the events of that June aft.  I am hoping that this meeting was healing for us both.

26 Comments
Todd
7/11/2015 04:15:22 am

I'm so glad your meeting went well...I know it had to help both of you. Your strength to even consider doing it is amazing...to actually accomplish it in such a compassionate way is a testament to you, Tommy, and, for me, total affirmation of the value of this trip. ILY

Reply
mmw
7/13/2015 12:32:15 pm

ILY

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Em
7/11/2015 06:38:48 am

I am in awe of you! Very brave of you to take that step. I am so proud to call you my aunt!! xoxoxoxo

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mmw
7/13/2015 12:32:49 pm

Thanks, Em. love you

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Wanda
7/11/2015 07:31:51 am

Wow Marjorie. You are amazing! I'm so happy your meeting went well. It sounds like it was a healing experience for both of you. xo

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mmw
7/13/2015 12:33:18 pm

xoxoxo

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Sharon
7/11/2015 07:50:48 am

How amazing and healing that must have been. Wonderful for both of you.

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mmw
7/13/2015 12:33:51 pm

Indeed and thank you

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Kim
7/11/2015 10:17:29 am

Tears....of sadness, healing, hope, courage, admiration, God's loving touch that passes our understanding....

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mmw
7/13/2015 12:34:23 pm

xoxoxo

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9r
7/11/2015 12:35:41 pm

What year Nixon leathers? 😏 I had every one of those stickers on that wall! Just took a deep breath...that hurdle is complete! Time to smile & ride! The strength of your mind will keep your body Tuff!

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mmw
7/13/2015 12:35:12 pm

I don't know what year. Jeez...........

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Bob Raynor link
7/11/2015 01:07:50 pm

HI, this is Bob from SC. My parents were good friends of your mother and Jack - Bermuda buddies. I have known about your mother's story via From a Healing Heart, a copy given to my parents. I have worked in mental health and addictions for over 37 years, and I have shared her story of healing as a story of hope. I have always known this story from her perspective - now I know yours, and your recent loss. It is an unimaginable story.
I wondered a few days ago if you might be going to Oklahoma, and here you are. There is something very powerful there you mentioned - the memorial in Oklahoma City. I use the story of the Survivor Tree there in therapy - how it came back the spring after the blast, and the design of the memorial around it. The resilience of nature - the healing power of the natural world. The resilience of you and your mother is astounding. And I just recently saw about the returning brown eyed Susan on the farm.
We also have had an unimaginable event shock our city of Charleston. And we all learned about what forgiveness is from those families. I see by your post today that your journey has also been one of forgiveness.
May your journey continue to be a safe and fruitful one.

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mmw
7/13/2015 12:53:58 pm

Bob, thank you for your comments. Yes, I know of your parents from Mom and Jack.
Your city and those families have given our country something to aspire too. First, the forgiveness of someone who killed in hate is really what courage is. Second, the way your city came together in love, with no violence embodies the true southern way.
Nature, yes, it is truly healing. I wish our mental health system could really understand how much. When I was hospitalized with suicidal ideations in 1990, I needed to walk outside -- such a simple thing. I was unable to do that for 2 weeks. We will keep trying. We have come along way.

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cj's Mum
7/12/2015 12:03:47 am

The power of forgiveness is truly a beautiful gift not just to others but to yourself. You have amazing strength and depth and this journey is helping you heal. As I blot away the tears I realize they aren't just for the sadness of it all but also for the joy and happiness that you are now able to receive as a result of this amazing journey....

Big hugs
Susan

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mmw
7/13/2015 12:35:56 pm

Thanks Susan

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Belle
7/13/2015 01:20:39 am

Seems to have been a healing meeting which is so wonderful as it could have been so negative and hurtful. What a testimony to you both that you were able to handle it and heal just a little more.

Your posts are bringing back many memories. I've been to Siloam Springs, AK and I've driven on rte 66 between the Kansas/ OK line to Pops. Saw the round barn but didn't go in. Had lunch at Pops. ( were you there ( on 66 near Arcadia) or at Soda Pops in OKC? And, yes, those ridiculous tolls. The easiest way to and from work in Tulsa was the highways. I had to have $0.35 each way. Always scrounging for change.

Stay stay and enjoy

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mmw
7/13/2015 12:37:16 pm

I think it was POPS --- but they had a lot of soda. I know it was in Arcadia.

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Claire
7/13/2015 11:34:15 am

Goosebumps galore. Courage, Compassion, Empathy, Respect, Forgiveness...these are the things that REAL Love is made of. Thank you, Marjorie, for putting these most beautiful of energies out into the world. We are ALL the better for you having done it. You are, indeed, an authentic peaceful warrior (an oxymoron, I know, but it fits!)
Loving you muchly. ~*~ Oxxx

"If we suffer in the sufferings of others and feel happy in the happiness of others, we are loving God." mb

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mmw
7/13/2015 12:40:04 pm

Thank you my dear friend. Wonderful quote, who is mb?

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Claire
7/14/2015 02:55:01 am

Meher Baba

kimi
7/13/2015 05:07:25 pm

as usual you never cease to TOTALLy AMAZE me!! I can't tell you enough...you are the strongest woman I know...I believe you are realigning your understanding and trust...you my friend have dealt with more than the average bear in your lifetime..and once again you climb another mountain in search of the light...

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pm me
7/15/2015 05:07:32 pm

gotta keep climbing

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Arysan
7/17/2015 03:59:24 pm

You never cease to amaze me. I'm so moved and inspired by your bravery and strength. It sounds like you are finding some peace. Love you :)

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mmw
7/17/2015 08:15:06 pm

I don't feel brave and strong. Just putting one foot in front of the other. Forward. I love you. And your support!!

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Amy
7/22/2015 02:40:14 am

Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming (or riding in your case)! Hugs to you!! You ARE brave and strong even if you don't feel it.




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